Unquestionably yours. I am a book; read me until my pages are flayed, my corners are soft and worn, and I smell like the spices in your kitchen. I don't want to come out of this unscathed -- I hardly hope to embark on an easy journey, and my scars have always told the best stories, hidden the greatest triumphs. Tell my story again and again and again. That's the only way I want to be remembered.

I'm not afraid of adversity. I'd smash my heart on a rock if it would make for some good writing.

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."
- Augusten Burroughs

My writing is split into categories below. If you want to read them uncategorized, they're all available under the writing tag. Enjoy!

 READER(S)

 

the black widow knows her hips are sinful but she dances all the same

don’t
come to me as though i hold hammer and nail in my hands
don’t come to me as though i can fix you
don’t look at me like Noah
i am not Noah.
i am the Flood.
you are five days Drought
and you think this means you want me
but
God does not plan His floods according to your pleas and
i am more years Flood
than you will ever be able to count on your hands
and i will drown out every last syllable of your name in pairs —
until you are ragged and tired of it
until only the o’s and a’s remain
until you are nothing but moaning, longing sighs —
before any part of my body decides to nourish you.
make not the mistake that water means life.
i am the water in falls,
in whitewater,
in ice,
and my foremost purpose is not to help you grow
it is to be as rigid and undeterrable as possible.
these hands were made rough not from gripping pillars and beams
but from holding on too long to things not meant for them.
they cannot build you a house
i cannot build you a house
i cannot kiss you like repair
only mouth you like a line from my favorite poem
like every word a prayer
like every prayer, sacred
like every sacred, a God,
like every God

listens.

10:11 PM; 6/20/14

Come back, I’ll kiss you like it’s the first time.

TEN-WORD STORY #4, 12:29 PM; 6/20/14

If you can’t fight and you can’t flee, flow.

Robert Elias

Anonymous asked
Something you may not know: I don't know if you know this but the last ask made me want to share this with you. "Butterflies" is a sensation felt when adrenaline helps redirect blood and energy from the digestive to the heart in situations that cause nervousness. This causes the blood vessels to close around the stomach which gives you the butterfly sensation. It's good you don't get it. It makes me sick.

wow. science is (one of) my favorite thing(s) so i’m really happy you told me this, although i’m very sorry to hear it makes you sick. i thought as much. do you think there are good and bad butterflies, though? maybe it’s because i’ve never had them, but i’d like to believe so. (probably not though, huh?) either way, sending you lots of warm hugs and stomach rubs (for that nervous stomach mang).

9:26 PM; 6/10/14

tie me in with all your loose-balloon thoughts. i am ten thousand paper planes all in the same airspace, and i am trying to land each of me on the same strip of land all at once. i am more parts collision than creation, but i breathe slowly now, and learn to create a little more these days. my hands are tools, after all, and i’d prefer using them to make than to destroy. did you know that, statistically, you are two thousand and two hundred times more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash? your fear of planes is born of your fear of falling, is born of your fear of death. are you afraid of stepping into a car? are you afraid of flying? the air around you is crowded with sonic speed jets, all rushing with nowhere to go. not i. i have no fear of skies. i was born there, in the mystic slip of space between the heavens and earth. each eye sees each realm, and every now and then the two intersect — the stars in the dirt and the irises in the atmosphere, the atmosphere in the dirt and the irises in the stars. your irises in the stars. the stars in your irises. it is magnificent and terrifying all at once, and i bathe in it like morning dew.

on these days, i write.

Anonymous asked
Do you ever get "butterflies" when you see someone you really care about? Or what goes through your mind if it ever happens?

i actually don’t think i’ve ever felt butterflies in my stomach. i think that’s something that happens when your stomach freaks out when you see someone that makes your heart all excited. my heart gets excited, if that’s what you mean. and i think about how crazy it is that i can go from resting rate to running rate in about two seconds just from looking at someone. isn’t that crazy? i mean, where am i gonna run to that i need all this extra energy for? i think about all the wonderful things i could imagine myself doing with this person, namely watching cartoons. i think watching cartoons sounds absolutely lovely right now. but i should add that i haven’t really felt any of those things in a while (not that i’m particularly disappointed though, as i am still watching cartoons). thank you for your ask! telepathically sending you lots of kindness in your day.